10 Things NBA Players Do That Would Get You Immediately Fired

By NOTNBATonight
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Updated: May 22, 2013

Whether we like it or not, NBA players are considered role models for the youth out there. Typically, the youth will grow up and begin their professional lives at some point. Here at NOTSC, we thought it would be helpful to make some sort of distinction between the behavior of our coveted NBA superstars and the repercussions to be faced if anyone were to ever emulate some of their behaviors in a normal work setting.

As a helpful guide, here are 10 things NBA players do that would get you immediately fired at your job

• Do not choose to call out of work every single day for an entire year. Although Derrick Rose was able to pull it off, this most likely would not fly at your job. In days that you do call out, we also don’t advise showing up at work at clapping at your office mates as they trudge through the daily grind.

• Do not publicly rip your boss to various media outlets in an effort to get them fired. We’ve seen NBA players do this with success, but if your boss drops those extra TPS reports on your desk at 5 pm on a Friday evening, please don’t call your local newspapers to voice your complaints.

• Do not be absolutely horrible at even the very basic parts of your job. Dwight Howard shot 49% from the free throw stripe this season, which is not good for a professional ball-put-in-the-hooper, particularly with nobody guarding him. We compare this to an accountant who can only manage to successfully turn on his calculator about half the days he tries.

• Do not think it’s okay to walk through the halls of your workplace punching innocent onlookers in the face and then change your name to something ridiculous like Metta World Peace.

• If you’re having a bad day at the office because a few of your colleagues aren’t performing as well as you’d like, do not walk into Human Resources and demand to be traded to a leading competitor.

• If everyone else around you is dressed professionally in shirts and ties, do not come to work wearing plaid, skin tight capris pants, a bright orange bow tie and over-sized black frames with no lenses in them.

• If you are fortunate enough to be in a hiring position, do not give a 30 million dollar, multi-year contract to someone like Jerome James. Technically, NBA players don’t do this either, but we just want to play it safe.

• Do not insult, threaten, make obscene hand gestures towards or incessantly whine at any auditors that come to quality check your files the way every single NBA player does towards referees.

• Do not go to work one day with tons of obscene neck tattoos. If even the Birdman can’t pull it off, neither can you.

• It’s highly advised to refrain from choking your boss’s throat tightly with your immense hands, no matter how much you may want to. Normally, that will get you fired immediately and thrown in prison for 7-10 years. In the NBA, Latrell Sprewell was just suspended for a little while before another team decided to throw millions at him.