NOTSportsCenter

Why (Your Team) Won’t Win The World Series

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We here at NOTSportsCenter have already proven that we hate every team in the league. Naturally we – with the help of some of the great followers of @NOTSCMLB – are going to tell you why each team still playing in October will not win the World Series. Since the first game belongs to the National League, we will start with the Senior Circuit.

NATIONAL LEAGUE

Atlanta Braves

During an off day, catcher Brian McCann watches an NBA preseason game and his head explodes.

Cincinnati Reds

Brandon Phillips adamantly insists the team will win the World Series because “each player is showing signs of being infected with ‘swag flu'”. Alas, it’s actually ricin.

Los Angeles Dodgers

The team blows a number of chances to close out a series because of how uncomfortable it has become trying to play baseball while wearing swimming trunks under their uniforms.

Pittsburgh Pirates

The Bucs are forced to forfeit when no one is able to get into PNC Park due to the automatic locks on the gates not being changed from their usual schedule of October through March.

St Louis Cardinals

With Allen Craig already out due to a foot injury, the Cardinals lose another first baseman when Matt Adams leaves the team to film the role of Mongo in a “Blazing Saddles” sequel.

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