Selection Sunday brings the excitement of March Madness as 68* (* = for now, it’ll be 128, 256, or 4.3 million soon, after all, we’re in the “everyone gets to play or get a trophy because that’s the “nice” thing to do” era) teams gear up to play in the NCAA men’s
office pool basketball tournament. Wichita State received a 1 seed as expected, and they were all excited…until their bracket was revealed. Yup, the selection committee did it again. Who was behind this year’s bracket?
BREAKING: The members of the Selection Committee are revealed! pic.twitter.com/bJLmOONkIJ
— NOT College Gameday (@NOTGameday) March 16, 2014
Color inside the lines guys. INSIDE.
Well, we’re down to 67 already, and we haven’t even played a game yet. For the first time in NCAA history, a team was eliminated before playing a game. “After setting up the Midwest region, we realized that we have a better chance of seeing a zombie apocalypse in the next 3 weeks than we do of seeing Wichita State in the Final Four,” said an NCAA tournament official. “Sure they’re the one seed. They were undefeated, so they HAD to be. But come on. Think about who they’ve played.”
Wichita State’s “signature wins” this year:
Wichita State's signature wins:
-Overbrook School for the Blind
-Indiana Boys & Girls Club
-Clarke School for the Deaf
-Topeka Middle School
— NOT SportsCenter (@NOTSportsCenter) March 1, 2014
“They might not even beat the 16 seed. How sad would that be?” the official asked. “Cal Poly does have 13 wins, that’s a hell of a challenge for Wichita. And if they do, they get the team with the biggest payroll in the country, Kentucky. Plus they’ve got Michigan, Duke, and Louisville in their region. So we’re putting them out of their misery now. It’s easier on all of us. The 16 seed makes the 3rd round, and we get to avoid being the idiots that selected the first team to lose to a 16 seed. Everyone wins.”
Well, except Wichita State. “They’ve done plenty of winning this year, they’ll be fine,” said the tournament official. “They’re all too busy giggling about their team’s nickname anyway.” So the winner of the play-in game will be moving on to the 3rd round, likely facing Kentucky. Imagine if 13-19 Cal Poly knocked off “We’re going to go 40-0 this yea…oh no we’re not LOL JK” Kentucky?
Even Wichita State would be laughing then.